limping into a new day

And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day.

Genesis 32:24

When Jacob was at his most vulnerable, in fear that his own brother Esau would make good on his threat to kill him, he had an encounter with God. And that night, wrestling with the very God of the universe in his fear and uncertainty, Jacob’s life was set in a new and better direction. He was humbled. The night left him with a permanent limp… a reminder that God prevailed even as God also blessed him. It left Jacob with a new name: Israel - Striver with God.

It might be really easy to overly personalize this story. I hope I am being careful here. I have had my own long nights of wrestling in fear, sleepless tossings filled with struggles over what God was doing or seemingly not doing in my life. Nights of apprehension over what might be my future tomorrow felt to me like tiring spiritual wrestling matches. And although I have never felt like I have held God down, I have begged for His blessing when I felt everything was imploding. I know that God hears in desperation! I too have seen Him settle my fears after much travail with Him. I’ve had God move me from troubled tossings to triumphant trust as God has prevailed and my fear has failed.

God with Whom I have wrestled,

Even as I have felt like I have struggled to accept Your work, You have always won my heart back to following a beautiful and gracious God! I am Yours and You may do with me and in me as You please. May I, like Jacob/Israel, limp forward in faith in You, humbled that You have ended my wrestling and confident You are leading me on.

Amen