deeds of my flesh/fruit of the Spirit

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

I do not want my life robbed of the fruit of the Spirit. Yet my demands, my emotions, my selfish nature can do so if I let it. And I have. When I read the list of the works of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21), I can get falsely proud of the fact I haven’t been controlled by them. Well, that is, until I dig a little deeper into my broken, wicked heart.

This culture has made me way too tolerant of immoral thinking in my mind. I, like all men I know, have to fight this constantly with the culture ramping up the pressure to be a sensual thinker. It really is not any easier even in my sixth decade. And yes, I never have had an overt idol in my home, but I have indeed worshipped many a false god in my own way. I can report that I have absolutely no idea what a drunken orgy looks like in my life… but strife, jealously, anger, division, envy… those are way too familiar and all of them have taken me dark places relationally and personally in my past. Yep… the works of the flesh HAVE clearly evidenced themselves in me. And jealousy, anger, and envy rise up easily, sometimes daily, in my life right now as I have a tendency to compare my life these days to what once was just a few short months back, or to what I think others have that I should have. So I really do desperately need to keep a tight rope around my sinful heart, reign in this fleshly thinking, and live in such a way that the Spirit can exhibit fruit growing from my heart outward to my life.

So Lord,

I confess my current need to repent of fleshly deeds. The desires of my flesh are against the Spirit, just as Your Word says. Forgive my impurity, my living for my senses, my jealousy, my anger at my current situation, my irrational envy of others, my idolizing of a life I think was or is better than the one You are giving graciously to me right now. All things, even in loss and trial, are Your gifts for my good and Your glory! I tell others this all the time. Why is it so incredibly hard for me to accept it? It is simply fleshly unbelief. I repent.

May I know instead Your Spirit’s renewal of me. Right now I ask You to lead me to know Your love, joy, peace, patience, and self-control. Help me to steward well my thoughts, to release my feelings that dominate my thinking, and instead, to believe Your Word and follow where Your Spirit will lead me. From the longsuffering fruit of affliction, may the sweeter, greater fruit of Your Spirit be known.

Amen

Your Word Stands

Forever, O LORD, your word

is firmly fixed in the heavens.

Your faithfulness endures to all generations;

you have established the earth, and it stands fast.

By your appointment they stand this day,

for all things are your servants.

Psalm 119:89-91

Forever, O Lord, Your Word stands

firmly fixed by Your powerful hands

like stars and planets fixed in space

nothing will Your Word erase

A faithful God stands for me

like rhythmic tides across the sea

Your faithful love in ebb and flow

will strengthen me and fill this soul

Your faithfulness endures each day

new generations know that You will save

just as the earth never moves

without billions thriving by Your love

Solid ground under my feet

this brand new day I rise and greet

welcome stability beneath me stays

and so I offer grateful praise

You appoint galaxies and atoms too

all things small and great must obey You

Your bidding is done in all I see

so I too must Your servant be

Use what’s left, this life Your tool

to think it mine is the whimsy of a fool

what happens now is always Your will

You are my wisdom, strength, security still

managing “unmanageable” feelings

My soul melts away for sorrow;

strengthen me according to your word!

Put false ways far from me

and graciously teach me your law!

I have chosen the way of faithfulness;

I set your rules before me.

Psalm 119:28-30

There is a powerful pattern here in these three verses in this Psalm that celebrates the wonder and power of God’s Word. This pattern helps manage “unmanageable” feelings. This pattern is worth thinking through and applying. 

The feeling of sorrow is truly devastating. The picture of it melting the soul is so appropriate. At times it saps a person of all spiritual, emotional, and physical strength. It can dominate all outlooks. It can oppress and depress. Sorrow is an awful experience. I know this too well. But there is strength to be found by turning to the Word of God. In the scriptures God gives sustaining and strengthening insight. So a principle emerges from verse 28: In sorrow, open your Bible for strength!

The second movement of this pattern is in verse 29: Repent of lies you’ve believed and learn God’s law. I don’t think it is co-incidence this principle follows on the call to turn to scripture in sorrow. Grief has a way of slowly and very effectively lying to a person. It tells you that things can never be the way they were and hence never will get better. It keeps you stuck. It falsely assures you nobody understands or can really help you. It lies and tells you that you are an unhappy outcast. And God’s Word tells us the opposite. God heals. God grows us through difficulty. God places us in caring community in His Church. Redemption brings joy. The way out? Repent from all the lies that sorrow tells! Believe God’s Word instead!

And a third step in the pattern is taught in verse 30: Choose faithfulness to God’s truth. Emotions overwhelm but we can choose to think beyond them. Sin can dominate, but we can choose to repent from the lies. And by faithfully, consistently, daily exposing our souls to God’s truth, life can change. It can get brighter. It will be better. Healing, joyful vision for tomorrow, and strength will come in God’s way and timing. Praise God that His Word speaks, encourages, and changes us!

comforted again

You will increase my greatness

and comfort me again.

Psalm 71:21

God loves me. He cares for me. He pours a grace upon me day after day that I do not deserve. I am concentrating on all of His goodness to me. It is overwhelming when I consider it. It brings perspective, hope, and sweet renewal.

If I learned anything over the last five months, it has been how vast the care and comfort of God really are to me. In the worst pains, God has brought a settled joy. At my lowest, God has lifted my head. In my most alone, God has made it abundantly clear that a great crowd of people have been impacted by a ministry Joni and I shared in the slow drip of faithful service to Him, and God is now my companion in a way I have always needed. These people are still impacted, loved, and drawn to Jesus even as I seek comforting grace from the Lord and keep making His goodness known. This is the Lord’s doing. I am incapable of providing perspective on all this on my own. I am not worthy of what God has poured out to me. I must keep faithfully believing Him, pouring His love through me, until He decides He is done with me in that capacity.

Psalm 71 is written in David’s old age. Verse 9 is particularly powerful to me: “Do not cast me off in the time of old age: forsake me not when my strength is spent”. How that request resonates with me! Losing a spouse has made me feel quite old, out of touch, but in a group I never signed up to participate in! It’s a mile marker I hit much earlier than many, and one that I frankly believed I would never see. All my “planning” assumed I would die first. Yet here I am, navigating the life of a widower (that sounds so OLD!) and asking God to be my strength. And God is faithfully doing so in each day!

Emotional exhaustion, though not a daily experience any more, still hits me out of the blue from time to time. Thankfully, even with uncertainties and an unclear view of my now very different new future, I have been able to rest spiritually. This happens even as emotional and physical rest are occasionally disrupted. There is a greatness that God is increasing. If I have anything good in my life at this moment, it is what God in Christ is doing. And the comfort that He is deliberately and incrementally rebuilding in me will be used by Him, I pray, for what I hope might be a few more years of fruitful, hopeful, amazing ministry. In that I place my trust and am relieved of the worst of my pains!

my heart’s desire

Delight yourself in the LORD,

and he will give you the desires of your heart.

Psalm 37:4

Oh how I long for my soul

to seek all my delight

living in Your light

to keep me clear, safe, and whole

Yet there is so much, Lord

that gets in the way

of what You say

I forget to keep Your Word

In You Lord I long to live

so to You I go

Your truth to know

and Your faithful care You give

My heart desires above all — YOU!

So when my feet slip and fail

Your faithfulness will still prevail

You rescue me because You are true

In this season, muddy my desires may be

Lord, cleanse my thinking in Your law

so that I can again be in worshipful awe

of the path You have planned for me

Feelings can be too strong

I trust You, Lord, instead

re-orient my confused head

to want what You wanted all along

My heart’s desire: to walk with You

to share that walk

with others to talk

to pour my heart in love into people too

My heart will not thrive alone

You have given me a heart to care

You have given me desires to share

and I submit them before Your throne

My God, I delight in You

I am Yours. Please nourish what You have grown

and surrounded by grace not my own

I will do what You lead me, in love, to do

the source of life and blessings

You who fear the LORD, trust in the LORD!

He is their help and their shield.

Psalm 115:11

The 115th Psalm is a reminder of what is the true source of life and blessings: The steadfast love and faithfulness of God (Psalm 115:1). It is shown to us in these ways…

• God does all that He pleases (Ps. 115:2-3).
• God shows idolatry to be impotent (Ps. 115:4-8).
• God helps His people in need AND shields them from trouble (Ps. 115:9-11).
• God blesses ALL who are His regardless of social status (Ps. 115:12-13).
• God blesses individual families and households (Ps. 115:14-15).
• God gives us this life and this earth to leverage in service and praise of Him forever (Ps. 115:16-18).

O God of might and power,

You do as You please in this world, in all circumstances, in my life. Do with me in Your care or through my crisis to perform all Your good work, I pray. Rattle, rock, and shatter my idols until I abandon their impotent seductions for Your powerful redeeming grace. See my need and awaken me to my world’s need as You shield Your people from death and potential destruction. Raise up Your people, small and great, poor and rich, struggling and stable, to make You known in this world, right now, so that Your kingdom comes, Your will is done on earth! Keep my family safe. Mend us. Comfort us. Call us to unite in Your powerful love so that the gospel can redeem ALL our lives into one family forever again. Lord, my life as it is right now is Your beautiful gift and before death silences my tongue in the world around me, Help me make You known as much as I can until You take my hand and guide me to eternal dwellings. May Your people bless Your great name, now and for the eternal ages! Praise the Lord!

Amen

unsearchably great

Every day I will bless you

and praise your name forever and ever.

Great is the LORD, and greatly to be praised,

and his greatness is unsearchable.

Psalm 145:2-3

Today I woke up to start my day, Bible open, heart seeking to know my God and His truth. And God’s Word brought me here, to this psalm, to be reminded that what I just did today blesses me as I bless the Lord. And more… this is the praise pattern day by day that never ends. It just grows in a never ending wonderful spiral of blessing that rolls my soul, on a grand adventure, into eternity. How great is the Lord!

Yes God is great. He gives me each new day until one day I will awaken to His eternal day! And the great things God does are without precedent or measure. He pours His power and grace into the world, into the universe, constantly loving His creation. To begin the journey of appreciating the greatness of God MUST continue into eternity because God is fathomless. He is truly unsearchable. We are in one sense always just beginning to understand Him. We barely know the universe he has made with its billions of galaxies and uncountable stars. And creation shows us just the fringes of His ways. The gospel of Christ shows us even more!

Lord,

Every day I will bless You. And forever I will bless You. You show me love forever and I will sing of it forever. As I dive into an ocean trench of Your greatness, swallow me up in the beauty of an adventure in You that never ends and will thrill this soul forever!

Amen

fearfully set apart

I praise you, for I am fearfully set apart.

Wonderful are your works;

my soul knows it very well.

Psalm 139:14

This meditation fills my heart this Monday morning. A day most dreaded by those who live for the weekend, instead, in my thoughts right now, is a great day God has blessed me with to devote to His service. As I read this verse this morning, I was struck by the power and the beauty of the alternate translation provided by the ESV committee. Normally this verse reads: “I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.” And that is certainly true and deeply motivational. But the alternate translation of “fearfully set apart” compels me to think of my days ahead with renewed determination and direction.

To be “fearfully set apart” leans me to ponder my purpose. I, like any person on this planet, am a unique creation of God in whom He wishes to display His glory. He made me uniquely His. How could I be more special? I don’t think I can. God has set me apart as His, for His glory, to know Him and His love, for me to fear Him, respect Him, make Him known, and love Him in return. Just as in human relationships our hearts hope to hold that “special someone”, so God has already created each person to be set apart to that kind of love and relationship in the fullest in HIM! I am beloved of God. And it is His love that I need above all other affections. And His love will love others through me in a way that sets me apart to Him and allows Him to set apart others to His own love. It is quite a beautiful way to live, really.

Lord,

I am Yours. Take me to that special, fearfully wonderful, set apart place. Be my only affection as Your love pours over me today. I feel Your wonderful works all around me, in the early morning birdsong I hear, in the refreshing dewdrops on the grass, in the summer blue skies just now lighting up from the sunrise, and even in the power of any storm that comes to throw me into Your sheltering arms. I praise You for the fearful and wonderful way my life is RIGHT NOW! And I KNOW that You love Your children perfect and well! Thank You, Lord!

Amen

weaned from my demands

O LORD, my heart is not lifted up;

my eyes are not raised too high;

I do not occupy myself with things

too great and too marvelous for me.

But I have calmed and quieted my soul,

like a weaned child with its mother;

like a weaned child is my soul within me.

O Israel, hope in the LORD

from this time forth and forevermore.

Psalm 131

Anxiety overwhelms me if I go too far into territory only God controls. Two particular interrogatives mess me up: “Why?”… and “When?”. Those questions have often sought to control my mind this year especially. They turn me into a terrible demanding spiritual crybaby. “Why did this happen?” “Why do I have to now live this way?” “Why did you not answer my prayer as I, and so many others, desired?” “When will I be happy again?” “When will I not feel so bad?” 

I put all these questions in the category of “God questions” that I cannot possibly answer, even as they sometimes pour out of me. I realize that they represent, as David describes here, things that are too great and too marvelous for me to know… unless God chooses to reveal the answers. I must learn to calm my soul when such toddler-tantrum questions start to control my thinking.

And it takes growth in order to calm and quiet my soul. The image of a weaned child captures the spiritual task perfectly. The questions that drive me to God are filled with demanding want. There is no self-discipline to them. Like an infant screaming until mother’s milk is offered, I only think of what I think I need from God, little loving Him, incessantly demanding from Him. I only see Him in those “why” and “when” questions as an immediate gratifier, not a mighty God Whom I should submit to and obey. Yet He will still hold and nourish me, even as He moves, by gentle denial of what I think I crave, to mature me in my wants and self-control.

So I must calm and quiet my soul. I must recognize times where my emotion starts demanding from God rather than worshiping and resting in Him. I must recognize just when my questions start turning into tantrums. I must learn to feed myself on scripture, on the journaling of God’s past faithfulness in past seasons of difficulty, on the strength of what others say and do for and with me in Christian community and fellowship that helps me be more reliant and patient. I must choose to let all those experiences calm my anxious, screaming need, and then I can feed well on God’s always abundant provision, mercy, and the countless daily gifts He has given to me as my loving Father! “…like a weaned child is my soul within me.”

God the king

The King in his might loves justice.

You have established equity;

you have executed justice

and righteousness in Jacob.

Psalm 99:4

Four words from this outburst of observational praise about God get my attention as I meditate on the meaning. The subject of my meditation is “God my King”. He is my authority. He rules over me, and all the universe, with absolute authority. And as God rules, these four aspects of His character rule it all quite well.

1. God is a mighty King. He has all power. Nothing is greater than our God. And no matter how strong a present circumstance feels to us, it cannot be a greater ruler of our souls than God is. He sends all that we experience our way for His glory and for our good. This is His power and might at work to change us and bring us into the experience of living as He wills it. And no earthly power will stop His rule or His good from being done. Jesus lives as our King in His might!

2. God loves and establishes justice. God is decisive in the way that He acts and He corrects what is truly wrong in us and in our world. He sees when injustice runs rampant in society. He is not powerless, but is acting in His timing, with absolute justice, to judge and correct this world. I need not feel this life is unfair because Jesus is the justice and the Judge over it all. God loves for His justice to prevail. It will. It always does.

3. God establishes equity. Equity differs from justice in that justice will judge what is wrong while equity will reward what is right. God sees and knows hearts. He will take care of those who by faith are faithful to Him. We should celebrate this truth and patiently wait for those rewards, even in seasons where injustice seems ubiquitous.

4. God brings righteousness. He will restore all things to be truly holy. He applies Christ’s righteousness to those who repent of sin and trust a risen Savior. He will eventually re-create a ruined universe into a new heavens and earth — the home of righteousness. 

O mighty, just, equitable, and righteous King… rule it all now! Amen

joyful noise that I must make

Let us come into his presence with thanksgiving;

let us make a joyful noise to him with songs of praise!

For the LORD is a great God,

and a great King above all gods.

Psalm 95:2-3

Pure thoughts of sheer praise emanate from the soul that is truly loving and worshiping the God Who saves! And this morning, my soul, in thanksgiving, wishes to join in singing this ancient song hoping to worship with that kind of praise. It is good to make some JOYFUL noise! And I will raise that noise even now.

God is great! He is greater than the false gods of this world. He is greater than my own disappointed dreams that have let me down. He is greater than all that I can ever imagine. I know this because He is carrying me in my weakness. I know this because He has restored my sense of wonder at life and the amazing world He has created around me. This restoration has occurred even as I thought this world was reduced to ashes. He has pulled me close to Him when I thought I was alone. He gave my weary soul rest in Jesus, as He promised, when I took on His easy yoke. He lightened the burden I did not want to bear, even as He placed the load upon my shoulders. O how great is our God! I will sing with joy and a grateful heart.

Lord,

Your presence has never been far from me. With Your Holy Spirit right here, I confess that although I thought You were far off, You were not. My own selfish thinking created a false sense of distance. And now coming into an awareness of just how close You really are, my soul is not just confessional, but extremely thankful! You are such a good, good God, even when I have been a fool! Jesus is a Friend closer than a brother. And You have indeed loved me more intensely than any earthly lover ever could. The joy of that realization burns the fog off my perspective even as You burn the morning fog outside my window as I am praying this prayer! Joy is worth the difficulty, my impatient waiting and myopic wanting, the darkness that has pushed me stumbling backwards right into You. This has happened as surely as the sunrise melts away the white fog to reveal a path that You refresh with the morning dew upon the short-lived grass which is my life. And though my days are as grass, You have refreshed me to verdant life at Your touch. In Your presence I sing and I celebrate with a joyful noise!

Amen

when my heart fails me (Psalm 40)

As for you, O LORD, you will not restrain

your mercy from me;

your steadfast love and your faithfulness will

ever preserve me!

Psalm 40:11

Overcome by Your goodness

     I fall down

     broken in my experiences

     broken in my sinfulness

     broken by my guilt

     broken in all my loss

Confessing iniquities

     I call out

     overtaken by my sin

     overtaken by my schemes

     overtaken by my imaginative idolatry

     overtaken by my love of a false god

Overflowing mercies

     fill my soul

     spilled out on Your cross

     spilled out in Your tender care

     spilled over from Your love

     spilled into my parched and weary soul

Declaring Your praises

     I worship You

     overflowing appreciation

     overflowing gratitude

     overflowing thanksgiving

     overflowing joy

Illumined by Your grace

     I now see

     You are pleased with Jesus

     You are pleased in my repentance

     You are pleased with my little faith

     You are pleased to make me Your child

Restored by My Deliverer

     I am now aware

     knowing I am always poor and needy

     knowing You always take thought of me

     knowing You will never delay

     knowing I delight to do Your will, O my God!

     

a person of integrity

But as for me, I shall walk in my integrity;

redeem me, and be gracious to me.

My foot stands on level ground;

in the great assembly I will bless the LORD.

Psalm 26:11-12

Without integrity, we have nothing. Without God’s redeeming grace, we have no source for our integrity. And that is what David knew when he penned Psalm 26. He knew that to be pleasing to God, he must be redeemed by a God Who in grace provided the means for him to have integrity.

David knew he would not slip if he stood on the level ground of God’s grace. And so he committed to praise His Lord in the assembly of the saints. He would lean in to a God, Who by the offering of sacrifice at the alter, atoned in grace the sins of His people so that in turn they could walk honestly in  faith and obedience before Him. Even the atoning work at the altar in the holy place was a work of grace, bringing people to God in love.

Hear my prayer Lord,

As for me, I desire to walk with integrity before You and all who are onlookers to the life you have given me. My only hope of righteousness is redemption in Jesus Christ. God, be merciful to me a sinner, for truly I am one! I am broken. I am selfish. I am warped with a selfish gaze that can feign righteousness but is inwardly still wicked. I am incapable of integrity without You! And so, like David, I claim the blood of The Sacrifice, Jesus Christ, as Your redemptive work in me. May Your grace alone immerse me in a righteousness that is not my own. Be gracious to me, O my God!

I can now stand on level ground. Make me more like Jesus. Keep my intentions Yours, Lord Jesus! And You can keep me from stumbling as You raise me up. I will bless You in the great assembly in gathered worship with Your church. I will walk forward with Your gift of integrity and with songs of praise in my heart!

Amen

Blessed is the God Who hears!

Blessed be the LORD!

For he has heard the voice of my pleas for mercy.

Psalm 28:6

My soul will also bless the Lord. He always hears me. I may cry out to Him boldly for I know He hears me. None of us is ever alone. God always hears. He always knows. And Jesus is our promise: “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5). This is the great, constant blessing of those beloved by God in Christ. And I in turn will bless the God Whose presence is always there. Blessed by the LORD!

Yes, He always hears me. He hears me in my most difficult moments. He hears me in my delight, when I often foolishly ignore His gifts and fail to see His mercies. He hears my complaints. He hears my joys. He hears my sorrows and sighs. He hears my joy and laughter. He hears them all… He knows them all… He shares in them all… He loves me through them all… He gives them all to me for my good and His glory.

O Lord,

You have heard the voice of my pleas for mercy. I am a sinful man, broken by my selfishness to often only listen to my own heart and to seldom truly hear and heed Your Word. And yet, You tenderly and authoritatively break through with a love that is forceful enough to shake me from my selfishness, yet tender enough to hold me and to love me like no other! And in that mercy You pour good, even in what I thought was bad, into my life until I stand amazed and grateful for that spectacular grace! Why would You love me so? Why would You choose to turn the raging storm into a soothing and sustaining shower, watering my dry soul until it overflows like a clear spring of mercy? The only answer I know is that You love Your children. Once You see them through the righteousness of Your Son, You will overwhelm them with Your lovingkindness. Thank You, Lord, that You have heard my pleas!

Amen

Prayer! with an exclamation point

Answer me when I call, O God of my righteousness!

You have given me relief when I was in distress.

Be gracious to me and hear my prayer!

Psalm 4:1

Prayer can be urgent, wasting no words, wanting real answers. When that is the state of our souls, it is good that we pray. David’s urgent plea to lead off the fourth psalm captivates me personally right now. There are seasons where my lead in words in prayer are exactly like this pattern David lays out. The first words aren’t a quiet and reflective “Dear Heavenly Father…” Instead they flow from an unsettled soul, the words are rougher, desperate, confused, and urgent… “O God… please…!” The directness and exclamation points in David’s first words in this psalm comfort me. It’s OK to want God to hear, to plead with Him in earnest, to roughly cry out in our need, even if our underlying incredulity is driving us to ask of Him.

How many times have I prayed this way in my life? I can recall a few seasons of knowing this kind of urgent prayer. How many times have I been overwhelmed in urgent, emotional, desperate one-sentence exclamations of my soul’s distress in the last five months? Almost daily. Not all day on any one day, but certainly at least at one point in each day feeling like an overwhelming need MUST burst forth to God like a geyser of want from my soul. And I am starting to see that in this season the great care of God is there for me in ways I have may not have appreciated before this season. I will praise Him for this depth of care. I feel His undeserved favor in my bursts of need.

I notice that sandwiched between David’s two urgent exclamation point requests is a sturdy observation of faith. It makes a kind of “sandwich of security” to help frame our most desperate moments:

Answer me when I call, O God!

You have given me relief in my distress.

Be gracious to me and hear me!

Right in the middle of the “sandwich” is faith firmly grounded in the faithfulness of God. And that sweet insight provides perspective and solid hope for my heart to stand upon when my soul cries out with exclamatory “prayer pleas”.

Lord… God of my life,

Thank You that You hear us in our urgent, emotional, sometimes bewildered moments. You bring relief in our distress. You bring peace in our disquiet. You ease our pain and use our sufferings to pour grace into us to make us see Your holiness, Your mercy, and Your great love. May my first response, whether in crisis or in calm, be to seek Your sustaining grace!

Amen

Surrounded

Many are the sorrows of the wicked,

but steadfast love surrounds the one who trusts in the LORD.

Psalm 32:10

All around me

encircled and trapped

in my circumstances

I have no map

I feel limited

and afraid

Yet You surround me

enfolded and wrapped

in Your protection

though strength is tapped

I feel well guarded

and safe

Sorrow and fear

were what I knew

in a loss

as to what to do

yet I trusted

and was saved

Steadfast love

flew straight from You

to comfort, strengthen

as I grew

to bigger belief

and firm faith

Grace and love

became my bright wall

looking up

I saw that all

that befell me

led lovingly to You

my heart’s desire

May he grant you your heart's desire

and fulfill all your plans!

Psalm 20:4

When we trust God… when we refuse to think like everyone else around us who would trust in worldly means and personal might, God will align our desires with His and grant us what our hearts want most. And no matter what season of life we may journey, we can trust in the Lord our God.

In Psalm 20 David as king over Israel refused to believe that military might alone would ever keep Israel safe. This is a big admission for a warrior king! But David was not one to trust in his war chariots and horses. He would trust in God because he knew that worldly power would collapse before the sovereign purposes of God. Israel’s only chance at standing safe and secure was to trust in the name of the Lord their God (Psalm 20:7-8). And only in that trust could plans be made!

O Lord,

You must be my trust, now and for always. My heart desires some things right now that seem so impossible. My plans, basically shattered, need to be reborn, infused with Your gracious love for me, in Your time. But as confusing as it is, I do confidently know this: Your purposes will guide me as I lean back into Your mighty arms. I refuse to trust in the chariots and horses around me. I will not take a whimsical, perhaps fatal, step away from Your Word and Spirit’s leading. I will instead soak my soul in scripture. I will seek Your wisdom over time. I will counsel only with Your people. I will seek wise perspective among my family in the Body of Christ. And I will wait for the wisdom that only You give to shape my desires so they may align solely with what is holy, focused sharply on Your kingdom, for I am convinced that only there will I be truly happy. May I come to see my desires easily granted Lord, not so that my wants can be appeased, but rather because I have been transformed to want what You want in my life and then to thrive as I find my satisfaction in You in the place You have lovingly positioned me for Your glory.

Amen

Why I will fear the Lord

Who is the man who fears the LORD?

Him will he instruct in the way that he should choose.

Psalm 25:12

If I want to know which way to go, I must start in the fear of the Lord. I must value the steadfast love of God for me because all His paths are faithfulness (Psalm 25:10). I must seek God’s wisdom, obey His Word, love His commands, and trust Him above what my own heart screams and demands right now. The person who fears the Lord is given secured promises because God rewards humble faith well, for God is good and upright (Psalm 25:8). He can be nothing else. God wants to do a lot for me if I would just look only to Him. I believe this.

What will God instruct and teach me if only I would center my focus upon Him? 

He will grant me wisdom. And right now I crave His wisdom in what can sometimes feel like an overwhelming situation of baffling new choices. I will wait for the gift of His wisdom. He has promised to instruct me in the right way. He will lead me to the choices that will honor Him, conforming me more to Christ (I am so distant still), and helping me find true fulfillment in His provision for me.

He will help me to experience true well-being (Psalm 25:13a). I want, not just to exist, but to thrive. I want to rest in His care and presence no matter where I am in my life. I want to know His goodness is always for me, always supporting me, always growing me in a direction that will bring praise to the God I fear.

He will be my legacy (Psalm 25:13b). My life’s fruit, both physical and spiritual, will bear witness to an inheritance only God, through Christ, has given me. It is a wealth beyond description, and whatever I leave behind in this life, I wish to solely point to God as the great Giver.

He will be my friend (Psalm 25:14). This is the over-the-top reward of fearing God. Like a sneak attack kiss, it catches me off-guard in the text, but is the warmest part of the experience. We don’t fear God by being scared of God. Instead, we respect Him as our deepest friendship. I desire most to keep gaining an intimacy with the Almighty that leads me ever closer to my Lord. Jesus called His disciples “friends”, and this is always what I want to crave, to seek, to know. It is what my heart cries for most right now, even as other things want to confuse my affections. My life is certainly blessed with so many caring companions, so many people whom God has given to express His love for me. And since this year has begun, God has moved so many to care so much. But not one person among scores of people who love me can compare to my Eternal Friend Who gave Himself for me, the One Who reveals Himself in His Word and providential care (even now in the hardest providence I have ever known). O Lord God, always be my heart’s dearest love!

when we center on Jesus

And they worshiped him and returned to Jerusalem with great joy, and were continually in the temple blessing God.

Luke 24:52-53

This was the response of the apostles after Jesus ascended into heaven after His resurrection. In their response we see them continuing in a relationship with Jesus even as He is now gone from them. And from this we see how we should respond as disciples who follow Jesus right now.

Worship. The first response of a follower of Jesus is to worship Him. He has saved us. He died for us. He is risen from the dead. He gives us life. He commands us in following Him to help make disciples of others. And all of that is in a context of worship. One of the key things disciples do is gather in worship. We gather to know Him, to praise Jesus, to learn from His Word, and to encourage one another as we follow Jesus.

Joy. The life of a disciple is NOT dull drudgery. It is not the tyranny of religious rules. It not mere checklist following, looking down our noses in judgment of others, or mournful sin shaming. Jesus brings joy! He wants us to know life in Him “to the full”. It is all an outrageously fun adventure. If not…. Well then personally… I’m out! A disciple’s life is the ultimate in fulfillment… a wonderful joy in Jesus that goes beyond the worst losses and pains life may throw at us. Jesus is our joy. Even though He is not physically among us, His joy is. And every gathering of believers should stoke that joy! Which leads to the third response…

Gathered Community. The first disciples, when Jesus was absent, instantly became a gathered group around His teachings. They began meeting at the temple… it appears from here, and in Acts, it was a daily experience. Christians need community. We aren’t solo artists. We are a big, loving, slightly messy, always together, diverse and beautiful band! At the center of each gathering is blessing Jesus, believing and celebrating the gospel, and blessing one another. We receive blessing in the Word, in song, in praise, in the sweet fellowship of the saints. We know one another, mess and all, and love one another as Christ loves us, mess and all! And in these ways we KNOW Jesus is with us, even as He now is at the right hand of the Father interceding for us.

breakfast with Jesus

Jesus said to them, “Come and have breakfast.” Now none of the disciples dared ask him, “Who are you?” They knew it was the Lord.

John 21:12

I love this resurrection appearance of Jesus as John records it. It is a call back to all the times Jesus spent with His disciples. They did life together. They are back in Galilee, by the lake, much like when many of them were first called to follow Him.

The guys had spent all night trying to catch fish (commercially… and unsuccessfully). Jesus calls out to them to cast the net one more time to the right of the boat. The net was so full that they had to close it up alongside the boat and drag it back to shoreline. And when the net did get emptied, they had quite a fish story to tell! 153 lunker fish caught in that one cast of the net. My guess is it was the biggest single haul any of these men had ever known. And after that astonishment, they ate breakfast on the shore, their fishermen’s pride quite satisfied.

Here is Jesus, resurrected Lord, Author of our Salvation, Destroyer of Death’s dominance, and He has built a fire and prepared for them a meal of grilled fish and bread. He is concerned with the physical needs of His disciples. He prepares and shares a meal for them. Jesus, King of the Universe, in simple hospitality and love for these men, stooped to serve once more. It is a beautiful picture. Jesus wants to serve His disciples, even as they must now learn to transition to living their entire lives for His gospel and will be literally giving their lives up for Him. Every man on that shoreline, laughing, breaking bread, and eating fish, amazed at a net full of fish, would eventually suffer martyrdom in bringing the gospel to their world. All, but John, who would survive several attempts at murder, only to be exiled to die alone on Patmos, but not before writing this gospel story down and communicating the vision that is the Book of Revelation. But in that shoreline freeze frame moment, there is Jesus, bread, fish, and the joy of companionship together knowing Jesus is risen just as He said.

The Lord Who calls us to serve Him with our lives will always stoop to be with us around our fires. He will provide for our daily bread (and fish). We know that He is the Lord, and as we serve Him, His grace will serve us and fill our nets in so many ways. We too are tenderly cared for each day of our lives by our Triumphant Savior!

Jesus revealed

But we had hoped that he was the one to redeem Israel. Yes, and besides all this, it is now the third day since these things happened.

Luke 24:21

Two men walking to Emmaus

talking with each other

about what happened to Jesus

and He drew near to them

Three men walking to Emmaus

two did not know

the third was Jesus

they were kept from recognizing Him

Up spoke one man, Cleopas,

spoke of what happened in Jerusalem

how their hoped Messiah, Jesus,

was crucified, devastating them

And furthermore “some women amazed us”

with a story of an empty tomb

finding no body of Jesus

— a vision of angels given to them

The Stranger answered on the road to Emmaus

beginning from Moses to the Prophets

it was necessary for Jesus

to suffer these things happening to Him

Three men sat down for dinner in Emmaus

and taking the bread in blessing

two of them recognized Jesus

then smiling — He left them

“Did not our hearts burn within us

while He talked from the scriptures

on the road to Emmaus?”

They found the others and told them

There on the road to Emmaus

The Savior revealed what all scripture said

that every page points to Jesus

so we can find life in Him

Her teacher spoke her name.

Jesus said to her, “Mary.” She turned and said to him in Aramaic, “Rabboni!” (which means Teacher).

John 20:16

Mary’s personal witness of Jesus after His resurrection is beautifully powerful. It is personally one of my favorite episodes in all of the gospels. She alone is given the gift of a first conversation with Jesus after His work is complete. She had been the bravest of His disciples. She was the first person there on that Sunday morning to find the empty tomb according to John’s gospel. She ran back to tell all the rest of the disciples. Her thrill (and her fear) are in this surprise. Peter and John foot race back and peered into an empty tomb. Incredulity seems to be their reaction. Mary returned after they left. She alone is there. Overcome with emotion, not quite believing that He could be risen, she weeps at what feels like to her even more tragedy.

This time as she looked into the tomb, two angels greeted her. She still believes someone must have moved Jesus’ body. All she wanted to do was to care for him by proper anointing. Turning around she is greeted by a man she thinks is a caretaker for the garden. Assuming Jesus had been moved to another nearby tomb, she asks this man to show her to the body. With the mere speaking of her name, “Mary”, Jesus transforms her understanding. She recognizes Jesus and in joy embraces her Lord. Her weeping, confusion, and fear are all gone at the powerful realization that Her Lord, who knew her by name, is alive! Her Teacher is alive! Her Savior tenderly turned her tears into joy again, all by simply saying her name as only He could.

A risen Jesus also stands today to be our Rabboni… our tender Teacher. He longs for our tears also to turn to joy. He gave Himself for us so that our happiness, combined with His holiness, could truly be complete in worship of Him. He has risen from the dead so that death no longer reigns in harsh tyranny over us. Our Teacher, Savior, and loving Lord is our life. And in joy known only in Him and by Him, no tomb can keep us from His joyful presence. He walked away from His tomb to love us. And He has assured by His resurrection that our graves will open a door where He will stand to greet us by name. That is the comfort and confidence Christians can have in the gospel!