the path to healthy relationships

Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive.

Colossians 3:12-13

I’m struck with some powerful principles about human relationships from these two verses. The truth challenges me and calls me to live differently than I normally would be wired to react. These principles involve deliberate choices when my worst reactions might want to come tearing out of me.

1. Relational stability requires deliberate effort. It does not just happen. I have to apply myself to God’s truth. I can make changes in my actions, but have no power for other people to do the same in their lives. So I must “put to death” what Paul calls “earthly” passions (Colossians 3:5-10). Once these are recognized as wrong and repentance is started, I must complete it by also “putting on” the character that Christ calls me to exhibit. I make the choice and commit to the change. God supplies the means in Christ, but I am expected to live it out actively.

2. Change is both internal and external. God changes me (He chose me, He loves me, He made me holy - Colossians 3:12) and I also “put on” the change. It works out of the new life that Christ creates in faith. Without first believing the gospel I cannot change. But belief must always show in action. It will be seen by compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience in my actions. I pray such things will be what people see in me, and hope that this character outline is truly the man I am known to be.

3. Forgiveness covers my complaints about others. Sooner or later in any human relationship there will be an action or attitude that hurts a person. It is easy for me to hold such complaints against another person… to see their sin as so great and mine as so insignificant. But we are called not to hold grudges, cast judgment, make a record of wrongs, or point fingers. We are told instead to seek to be forgiven and forgiving when relational dissonance is experienced. This is a loving and gracious commitment. I struggle to be this way, but want to receive this kind of treatment, so I commit to forgiveness as my hope in all conflict.

4. Jesus is the standard for relational peace. We forgive as Jesus forgives us and because He has forgiven us. We sacrifice our demands, we humble our hearts, we surrender to our Savior’s standard, and we forgive. This high standard keeps us focused on Jesus Who is our peace. With Him as the center, the focus of our hopes and ambitions, the Lord over our thoughts and actions, our relationships can thrive!

competing captivations

See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ.

Colossians 2:8

As I read this warning, I am reminded to carefully consider what thoughts I entertain, what rationale for life I will offer up, and I am called to essentially evaluate why I do what I do. It is easy to be captivated by another kind of thinking than that which Christ teaches us. This world is filled with competing captivations. It is the water in which we swim. Here are quite honestly a few that can become alluring enemies of the Christian life if we let them:

Self-empowerment. This is a very dominant philosophy in our culture. It underlies many a “family film” and our culture makes heroes of those who “believe” in themselves… even if their lifestyle is selfish and sinful. I’ve found myself tempted to fall for it, oddly enough, especially as I’ve had to face so many solo experiences this past year. How dare I think I did them without the enablement of Christ?! But ultimately self-power is an empty deceit because I lack the power to change my broken, sinful heart. And I know what lurks there. I need Christ and the gospel to change and empower me.

Human relationships. It is tempting to look for people to be what only Jesus can be. Don’t get me wrong… human relationships, especially with other Christians… are vital. God made us social beings and it is not good to be alone. But human relationships are not the sole substance of my life and if I find my only happiness in them I WILL be disappointed. I will also disappoint others because as fallen sinners, all human relationships are marred… will have a degree of brokenness that only Christ can mend. The controller of all relationships and King over all the love I seek with others is Jesus!

Materialism. I am still very much a child of consumeristic, American-Dream, late 20th century cultural persuasion. But having stuff, maintaining stuff, buying stuff, and owning stuff… none of that experience is a source of lasting happiness. Materialism does not fulfill because my soul must love souls and be loved by another Greater One to find true fulfillment. Materialism’s failure is this: THINGS DO NOT LOVE BACK! That is why Christ owns me and I claim nothing but the cross and an empty tomb as my greatest hope of possession. Only then am I forever free of greed and consumeristic unmet wants. Only then can I find joy in being His as He is mine!

my heart is encouraged

…that their hearts may be encouraged, being knit together in love, to reach all the riches of full assurance of understanding and the knowledge of God's mystery, which is Christ, in whom are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge.

Colossians 2:2-3

This is a prayer for encouragement. Paul prayed it for the believers in a specific congregation. He prayed for a church whose members he had met and that grew so that there were also many members he had not met. And it is a rich prayer revealing strong facets of encouragement in Christ. Look at the list:

• Hearts drawn to other believers in love. We all crave close relationships. We are designed to thrive in community. Christians should find this among other believers in a local church. Our hearts are “being knit together in love.”
• A spiritual life with true riches. The wealth of gospel community should be what each Christian knows and loves the most. We need one another. Our relationships enrich us.
• A new understanding in Christ. Paul’s word is “mystery”, meaning a powerful truth in Jesus that was a “surprise” to Old Testament theology but is now revealed in the gospel. And this surprise is a joyous revelation of new wisdom and knowledge.
• Possession of the greatest treasures. Christ is who and what we value. And nothing in this world, no gold or silver, no investments, no property, no earthly possessions match the priceless treasure hidden in our life with Christ.

Lord,

My life is bound in the experience of the gospel. My heart is knit to my Christian family. My wealth is found in Jesus. My wisdom is Christ. My treasure forever kept in heaven is hidden in my Savior. I am indeed encouraged despite whatever comes my way!

Amen

Jesus… Mighty God

And he is before all things, and in him all things hold together.

Colossians 1:17

Do we really know this Jesus that Christmas is all about? Would we boldly believe that a baby arrived in a backwoods Judean town, born to a Jewish peasant girl while an empire crushed her people… and that this unknown, oppressed, impoverished little human was actually the omnipotent God of the universe? That’s the truth of it as the gospels reveal it and as in this passage the apostles proclaimed it. Jesus is the Mighty God!

Paul’s words here have Jesus securely holding the universe in the pinch of His thumb and forefinger. It is hardly an exertion! He existed before “all things”. Jesus is the Eternal God, from everlasting to everlasting, the One Who was, and Who is, and Who is always to be. He is God Almighty Who entered into this universe He designed. He is in control. He is before time, in time, beyond time. Jesus is the Eternal God. That was the person they laid in a cattle trough for a cradle and Who relied on His mother’s care to survive as an infant. Even there and then Jesus is God. This is mind blowing stuff!

But wait… there’s more. Paul goes on to say that, by Jesus, “all things hold together.” Jesus made the universe and as God, He controls it. It would all just disintegrate… easily “poof” out of existence were it not for His sovereign Lordship over all creation. Again… that baby in Bethlehem? He’s that powerful! He is the key to the universe. He keeps it all together. He also keeps us and our lives all together!

Jesus… Mighty God!

You Who are before all things… Who always has been and always will be… You know my times… are in my times… literally You are my life since all this is true! And You are before my life right now holding ME all together. You shower grace and life on ME. You, my Lord Jesus, are the Mighty God.

Amen

Full Power

May you be strengthened with all power, according to his glorious might, for all endurance and patience with joy; giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in light.

Colossians 1:11-12

Father, Who sent Your only Son

so my redemption could be done

how I need strength, I pray

to see me through this busy day.

I’ll need words not my own

to encourage those who are down.

I’ll need strength only You give

so I and others can truly live.

Lord, if I’m not filled with Your might

I might collapse before tonight!

So fill me up, in what You say

with all Your power for today

I have a long race yet to run;

Endurance is needed until day is done.

I have tough foes to counter and fight

patiently empower me with Your might.

I’m giving thanks to my Father above

You save me, equip me, in Your love

to share in an inheritance in light

with all Your saints shining so bright.

Strengthened by power, with joy I’ll go

into this day praising the God I know.

Full power supplied by Your saving grace,

I will endure and run this race!

Lord, Your strength is my power.

Your truth guides me through each hour.

To You I sing my heartfelt praise.

You will lead and brighten all my ways!

three essential christian experiences

…since we heard of your faith in Christ Jesus and of the love that you have for all the saints, because of the hope laid up for you in heaven. Of this you have heard before in the word of the truth, the gospel…

Colossians 1:4-5

This careful prayer of Paul’s emphasizes three essential experiences every believer in Christ enjoys. They satisfy our souls. I believe they set our character and define all our relationships.

The first experience: Faith in Christ Jesus. Christianity is all about Jesus. The good news of the truth, the gospel, is all about Jesus. Jesus is our Teacher. Jesus is our Savior. Jesus is our Leader. Jesus is God. Jesus is our Lord. It is an essential experience that all Christians are committed to gospel faith in Jesus, about Jesus, and upon His completed work. From that essential our relationship with God, and in Christ, can be lived to the full, with joy, thankfulness, and direction.

Secondly, we know love for all Jesus’ people. The church is a vital place, not just pounding out right doctrine exclusively, or demanding hard expectations of us. No, the church is a group of people who experience the love of Christ together and in that love we grow, thrive, learn to think, and mature in our understanding both of our Savior and the saints. I love people because Jesus does. I love His church because He does. My deepest friendships are in Christ with Christians. In many ways my local church is my family and always will be. And with Jesus in common, we know love. With Him we show love.

And finally there is hope for us in heaven. We work toward an eternal goal. That hope Paul says is “laid up” for us… a call to the language of Jesus Himself Who calls us to “lay up for yourselves treasure in heaven”. His perspective was bigger than the mere present and its possessions. And our measure of success and wealth in Christ must also be eternally focused. My hope (re-arranged as all things have become for me in 2023) is squarely set in heaven. Eternal life is so much more important than chasing any earthly endeavor. Jesus, and eternity with Him, are the real treasures!

And so… in faith, love, and hope I now live by the mercies and grace of Jesus Christ. Lord, may Your people thrive in these essentials until You return!

of merchants and locusts

You increased your merchants

more than the stars of the heavens.

The locust spreads its wings and flies away.

Nahum 3:16

It is foolish to put one’s trust in business, in economies, or in the ability to make money. When Ninevah fell under God’s judgment, no amount of business expertise, no profit margins, no bank accounts, no healthy economic forecasts would deliver the nation. The capital city was obliterated, the empire toppled, the merchants were all made paupers, and the economy collapsed. It was as if a devouring plague of locusts stripped everything, eating wealth like crops, leaving businessmen destitute, and then flying away.

All my life I have lived in a country with a thriving economy. Even in temporary recessionary times, America has been on the top of the world in terms of wealth, average lifestyle, and per capita income. Although I have never been particularly wealthy by American standards, by world standards I live like a king! I’ve never gone to bed without food, shelter, security, access to healthcare, clothing, or at least a little money in my pocket. For that I am very thankful. But I don’t take it for granted. I’m amazed God has kept my culture thriving as long as it has.

God will not let trust in riches steal His glory. Wealth is deceptive. Riches pierce the heart with many pangs. Estates should be stewarded with one goal in mind: “Lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven.” Christians invest only in eternity. And for that reason I reject the American Dream and trust instead in God’s provision and the glory of the gospel. The locust could eat all my material possessions tomorrow. Yet God will not leave me without His provision and love! May Jesus always be my security, my trust, my provider, and my treasure.