deeds of my flesh/fruit of the Spirit

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Galatians 5:22-23

I do not want my life robbed of the fruit of the Spirit. Yet my demands, my emotions, my selfish nature can do so if I let it. And I have. When I read the list of the works of the flesh (Galatians 5:19-21), I can get falsely proud of the fact I haven’t been controlled by them. Well, that is, until I dig a little deeper into my broken, wicked heart.

This culture has made me way too tolerant of immoral thinking in my mind. I, like all men I know, have to fight this constantly with the culture ramping up the pressure to be a sensual thinker. It really is not any easier even in my sixth decade. And yes, I never have had an overt idol in my home, but I have indeed worshipped many a false god in my own way. I can report that I have absolutely no idea what a drunken orgy looks like in my life… but strife, jealously, anger, division, envy… those are way too familiar and all of them have taken me dark places relationally and personally in my past. Yep… the works of the flesh HAVE clearly evidenced themselves in me. And jealousy, anger, and envy rise up easily, sometimes daily, in my life right now as I have a tendency to compare my life these days to what once was just a few short months back, or to what I think others have that I should have. So I really do desperately need to keep a tight rope around my sinful heart, reign in this fleshly thinking, and live in such a way that the Spirit can exhibit fruit growing from my heart outward to my life.

So Lord,

I confess my current need to repent of fleshly deeds. The desires of my flesh are against the Spirit, just as Your Word says. Forgive my impurity, my living for my senses, my jealousy, my anger at my current situation, my irrational envy of others, my idolizing of a life I think was or is better than the one You are giving graciously to me right now. All things, even in loss and trial, are Your gifts for my good and Your glory! I tell others this all the time. Why is it so incredibly hard for me to accept it? It is simply fleshly unbelief. I repent.

May I know instead Your Spirit’s renewal of me. Right now I ask You to lead me to know Your love, joy, peace, patience, and self-control. Help me to steward well my thoughts, to release my feelings that dominate my thinking, and instead, to believe Your Word and follow where Your Spirit will lead me. From the longsuffering fruit of affliction, may the sweeter, greater fruit of Your Spirit be known.

Amen