the grace of weeping

And he went out and wept bitterly.

Luke 22:62

Peter realized that he had indeed denied Christ three times just as Jesus predicted. It hit him hard. Luke’s account has Peter trying to keep some kind of safe distance as Jesus is on trial at the home of the high priest. Peter hangs back in the courtyard trying to keep a low profile. Twice people connect him to Jesus and he denies it. An hour goes by and another person strongly insists Peter HAS to be one of Jesus’ men. Fear skyrockets in Peter. He strongly denies the observation. As the words are still leaving him, a rooster crows. And then like a cinematic drama, Luke cuts to the face of Jesus turning to deliberately gaze directly into Peter’s eyes. That look cut into Peter’s soul.

That’s when Peter lost it. Bitter tears of regret, grief, pain, bewilderment, and shame filled his eyes as he abruptly left the courtyard and wept sobs of agony over his denials.

There are many kinds of tears. A person can weep shedding multiple streams of them in one good cry. Sorrow can mix with repentance. Shame can mix with anger. Regret can mix with bargaining. Joy can mix with intense loneliness. Memory can mingle with fantasy. Weeping is usually a very mixed-up business. At least that is my experience these days. Peter’s bitter weeping grips my heart as I read it because I feel deep in my chest the depth of those two words right now: wept bitterly.

I can envision how painful it would have been to have Jesus make eye contact with you as you denied Him. Perhaps no more bitter tears could ever fall than Peter’s at that moment. I can relate to the intensity of the emotion. Peter was overcome with feelings… the tough guy fisherman reduced to sobs. But those tears, hard as they were, would be the start of restoration for him. They would cleanse the wounds of His hurt of knowing Jesus was going to die. They would prepare His heart to be strong for Jesus. His perspective on his denials would be changed by a resurrected Savior! Tears can blur us only temporarily. God will use them to clear our vision and show us Jesus in all His glory.

I embrace weeping these days. Tears make a strong man of me, with a softer heart, with more capacity to love, with a humility to put myself squarely in the arms of the Man of Sorrows Who has borne all my grief. I do not have to weep bitterly, but I will welcome a clearer vision in God’s good and gracious time. And if my tears bring that, then they are drops of grace from a loving God.

Denial

And again he denied it with an oath: “I do not know the man.”

Matthew 26:72

Which is worse…

betrayal or denial?

Betrayal can have a host of motives

but denial seems driven by fear.

Would I deny Jesus if I felt death

for knowing Him was near?

Which is more cowardly…

hiding or lying?

Most disciples hid in that moment Jesus was seized

and didn’t even try to stand by.

Would I have risked standing on the periphery

to support Jesus about to die?

Which matters most…

truth or deception?

Recognized by all who saw through

Peter’s cover was completely blown.

Discovered as a disciple, yet he

refused to make the Master known.

What really happened then…

Jesus was right.

Disciples fled in fear and panic

and Peter disowned Him on that night.

Yet they would still be His apostles

sent to tell even this pain-filled part of the story, by Jesus set right!

We can hide.

We can deny.

Yet Jesus forgives

His truth lives

in broken hearts

repenting of our mixed motivations

we can still proclaim a worthy Savior!

mockery for which He died

Then they spit in his face and struck him. And some slapped him, saying, “Prophesy to us, you Christ! Who is it that struck you?”

Matthew 26:67-68

They mocked and ridiculed Jesus at His trial. It made no difference as He still gave Himself up for our sins. The very spitting, physical abuse, and mockery He endured as they hated Him were sins Jesus would carry with His cross and shed His blood to forgive. Mocking and hating Jesus can be forgiven. It will not change the truth. Jesus stands above it, as a loving Savior and victorious Lord.

The vicious enemies of Christ may enjoy their mockery of Him. Notice how these first men to slap the Savior mock His claims and take His name in vain… “you Christ!” The name and title that they should bow to in reverence is an object of their ridicule as they see themselves in power over the fate of Jesus. They are sinfully arrogant and deceived. And reading their hateful mockery in the light of salvation history is sobering. You can think light of Jesus. You can use His name as a curse word. He will still love you and die for you. But you will definitely be on the wrong side of the story if you continue in that dismissal of Him.

Lord Jesus,

Some in this cruel world still mock You. Yet You don’t strike them back. You will stand offering forgiveness for even the cruelest treatment when repentance and faith turn a soul to see You in Your mercy, grace, and power. You died for a culture that spits on You. You willingly gave Yourself to the blows to carry the guilt of those abuses to the cross, there to atone forever every act of hate, mockery, and violence we have ever or will ever do. Such is Your great forgiving love. Thank You Lord for such mercy to us, even at our most hate-filled.

Amen

betrayal in a garden

“But all this has taken place that the Scriptures of the prophets might be fulfilled.” Then all the disciples left him and fled.

Matthew 26:56

There in the garden where Jesus prayed, yielding Himself to the Father’s will and ready to die for our sins… in that same beautiful garden he was betrayed into the murderous hands of His enemies. Judas led an armed crowd to arrest Jesus. With a disciple’s greeting and a kiss, Jesus was handed over to the Jewish authorities by force. And Jesus did not resist, although He let scripture have the “last word” even as He walked down the dark night path from the garden that ultimately led to His brutal march up Golgotha to His crucifixion.

Jesus knew that the scriptures would would be fulfilled in that moment. All of the story of our world’s redemption was coming into fruition. What began in a garden with a betraying lie that Adam and Eve believed so that God was disobeyed, would begin to be undone in another garden, by the Second Adam, by another betrayal. And though the worst of it was yet to come, Jesus knew it would end with the salvation of many and His own resurrection and exaltation. All this took place so that what God had revealed for ages might be done for us. Jesus is confident, even in the face of unmeasurable suffering, because the Father is in control as the Son willingly gave Himself up for us all.

And in the face of the courage of Christ, the disciples all fled in fear. They all deserted Jesus, as briefly their hearts could not believe that all the scriptures foretold of this exact moment. Fear lead them all, as Jesus had predicted to them, to forsake Him to face His accusers all alone.

Lord Jesus,

You faced trials, beatings, mockery, and excruciating death on a cross for our salvation. And in confidence, in fulfillment of all that You revealed by Your prophets, You went alone to the cross so that we might never be alone. Thank You for Your love and Your sacrifice! You are victorious, even as our own hearts may easily be tempted, like Your disciples in the garden, to flee!

Amen

Pray with vigilance.

Watch and pray that you may not enter into temptation. The spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Matthew 26:41

In the grip of the most personal struggle, Jesus prayed in Gethsemane. His soul He describes as “very sorrowful, even to death” (Matthew 26:38). His prayer - a request wishing there was some other way to avoid drinking the cup of wrath to be poured out on Him at His crucifixion, but yielding fully in obedience nonetheless to the Father’s will. After wrestling with this prayer, Jesus finds His disciples fast asleep.

Disappointed that they could not even keep watch with Him for an hour, Jesus gives them these words about the urgency of prayer. His teaching reminds us that in some ways prayer is always a spiritual battle not to be taken lightly! When we pray, we are to watch. There is a vigilance to prayer as we pray. There are no lazy prayers. And we can’t be haphazard about how we pray either.

The consequences of a lack of vigilance are severe: We can not only struggle in temptation, but we can succumb to it. So we must watch and pray so that we don’t enter into temptation. Mindful prayer protects our souls. It circumvents the devil’s schemes. It helps us mature in holiness. Jesus asks us to watch as we pray. Be alert! This is serious business!

The tendency to be less than vigilant is real. Jesus acknowledged this to His men. “The spirit is willing…” we want to pray well. We know we should be watchful as we prayer. We can believe all the things rightly about prayer. “But the flesh is weak…” we are just dust and easily fall away. We can easily be lulled by our earthly desires, our tired bodies, our physical needs. Those must be put in place for us to pray well, and only a fool thinks that prayer is never a battle between the spiritual realm and our weak bodies.

And so, we watch… with effort, energy, and enthusiasm, as we pray. We know a hundred urges may distract us from prayer at any given time, and so we discipline ourselves, as Christ reminds us, to pray with vigilance.

Why I’m Here

I do not ask that you take them out of the world, but that you keep them from the evil one.

John 17:15

On the night He was betrayed Jesus prayed, and what was there, in that prayer, tells me why I’m here.

Before they nailed Him to a tree, Jesus thought of me. He prayed for all who would believe, His truth receive. It’s perspective I need.

Jesus did not want the Father to take them away, instead He prayed they would stay so that the world could be saved… gospel witness in the world today.

Believers in this world to bless this broken mess! Christ’s sacrifice to confess and then to rest from Evil kept.

I’m here to believe.

I’m here to pray.

I’m here to truly live.

I’ve here to generously give.

I’m here to stay until my dying day.

Left with this gift of living so that in Jesus I’m giving witness to His life even through darkness, grief, or strife. That’s why I’m here… the purpose is clear.

ministry of the Spirit of Truth

When the Spirit of truth comes, he will guide you into all the truth, for he will not speak on his own authority, but whatever he hears he will speak, and he will declare to you the things that are to come.

John 16:13

In this one verse the apostles are promised a four-fold ministry of the Holy Spirit that still impacts Christians today. The work of the Holy Spirit is often downplayed or blown out of unbiblical proportion by some in the church today. We need instead to understand the Spirit’s work in us. These four things blessed the apostles and carry over to us today.

1. Guidance in the truth. The Spirit of God leads in revealing the truth of God. For the apostles it meant that the New Testament scriptures would spring forth by the Holy Spirit’s inspiration from their gospel ministry. The Spirit of God would lead them to understand the scriptures of the Old Testament as well. The book of Acts in particular shows the dynamic truth-guiding ministry of the Spirit as He led the church with both the Old and New Testaments to take the gospel around the world.

2. Speaking with God’s authority. The Holy Spirit would speak with the authority of the Father and under the authority of the Lord Jesus Christ. What the Spirit would reveal to and through the apostles would be, and very much is, the Word of God.

3. Connection to the Godhead. “What he hears he will speak.” The trinity is in complete unity. What the Holy Spirit would reveal would be in complete agreement with the Father and the Son because He speak only what He hears. We can be confident that the apostles’ doctrine as revealed in the New Testament is God’s Word, not in disagreement with any previous revelation, because it is the same God revealing Himself through the Holy Spirit!

4. Declare things to come. The Holy Spirit would have a prophetic ministry to and through the apostles. In this way we would receive a full picture of God’s purposes in salvation history. It ends with Jesus as Lord of all the universe, dear to His redeemed, Judge of all people with perfect justice, and the object of universal worship and praise forever. We have that hope, that complete picture, because the Holy Spirit was sent to comfort, guide, inspire, reveal, and guide the disciples of Jesus!