pleasing relationships

Let each of us please his neighbor for his good, to build him up.

Romans 15:2

What drives my relationships? Why do I interact with people? What do I hope to cultivate in relationships with people around me? How do I treat those whom I see each day? Am I open with some folks, treating them favorably, while remaining indifferent or uncaring to other people?

These questions come to mind as I reflect on this simple exhortation Paul gives Christians here in the fifteenth chapter of Romans. The command comes on the heels of a broader discussion about Christian liberty and differences of opinion among believers. Paul defuses a hot button issue in the early church (eating meat that had been slaughtered in ritual offering to a pagan deity) and calls the church to a deeper love. He teaches about differences of conscience. We should honor our consciences (even as they may differ) within the church when such beliefs are not entrenched in either hate or legalistic self-righteousness. We do so in order to build unity in the church: the Body and the Bride of Christ. The church is beautiful when people respect and defer to conscience with one another. It is ugly when people fight over such matters.

To “please my neighbor for his good” means that my relational commitments MUST be built around getting to know and respect people individually. I must reject my assumptions. How can I see their good if I don’t know their needs, desires, and commitments? The church should be lively, interactive, vulnerable, and open. People must know and learn each other well. We should give insights to one another at a deeper level than just “news, weather, and sports” conversation. We should know each other’s hearts.

What should drive me is this: I will let you into my world and I want to be part of your world also. And as we truly know one another, we can care for each other well. Superficiality should never be our experience! I want to build you up! I want God to use you to make me a better man, to lead me deeper in understanding Jesus. I want to adore Jesus AND the beauty of His Bride, the Church. May these relational commitments drive Christians to Christ and to each other!