conflicted

For I do not understand my own actions. For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.

Romans 7:15

As much as I want to follow Jesus and do the things that please Him, I have to fight my self just to do so. I need Jesus. My sin has separated me from God and only Jesus can take me to God by His sacrifice, His righteous life, and resurrection from the dead. I really want to do what He asks His followers to do, yet there is a strong inclination in me toward selfishness, sinful actions, pride, and maintaining my own control. So I cannot do what I want (obey and follow Jesus) under the force of my own power. I mess it up. I fail to understand. I choose poorly. I please self. I am a sinner in need of a righteousness and a power that are not my own in order to stand a chance at any kind of Christian commitment and maturity. My only hope is in the power and person of Jesus!

That realization is what Paul explains about himself in both Romans 7 and 8. He too was spiritually conflicted. He too needed to win a hard fought battle with a sinful nature that won out in His heart more times than not. He too needed the Word of God and the Spirit of God to work in and with the gospel to lead him from casualty of battle to victor beyond this battle.

Paul made these statements about His conflicted soul:

1) Sin indwelt him still, leading to these wrong choices. Nothing good was to be found in that part of him (Romans 7:17-18).

2) Wanting to do right is not enough by itself. He delighted in the Law of God, yet still would do what was wrong (Romans 7:21-22)

3) He fought a spiritual war internally every day. Only Jesus Christ as Lord can deliver him in that battle (Romans 7:23-25).

4) The Holy Spirit of God, through His sanctifying presence and purpose delivers believers from the consequences and the control of that battle (Roman’s 8:1-4).

5) The Spirit of God works with the gospel doing in us what we ourselves are powerless to do. We are transformed and set free in the gospel to be led by the Spirit, not dominated by the sin we hate (Romans 8:3-11).

Lord,

Although I am in this constant war inside myself, I believe You settle the conflict through Your saving work, Your Spirit’s presence in me, and Your Word’s direction for me. Do in me what I cannot do myself. Be the power to defeat my sin and direct me to follow You, Jesus!

Amen