a tendency to scatter

But he said emphatically, “If I must die with you, I will not deny you.” And they all said the same.

Mark 14:21

What’s the old saying? “Actions speak louder than words.” When Jesus told His disciples He would soon be arrested, crucified, and then raised to life again, He warned them that they would all scatter in fear. Peter proudly affirms that even if all the other apostles fell away, he was too strong and would never do so. Jesus tells him with direct detail that denial would roll from Peter’s lips three times that very night. Peter stubbornly refuses to see himself capable of that. And all the disciples bristle at the idea of abandoning Jesus. They speak up in bold belief with Jesus present with them in the upper room. But things would indeed change very dramatically, very quickly, and in a matter of hours they would all be in hiding.

When encountering this text as a Christian on the post-resurrection side of the gospel, it is easy to judge the apostles for their feckless fear, unbelief, and denial. But aren’t we just as irresponsible, if not worse, in our sinful moments? Every time I give in to a selfish desire, to an angry outburst, to a doubting disbelief, I am in essence in the exact same kind of denial and hiding. I am abandoning Jesus for the “safety” of hiding in the world. I am telling a resurrected Savior Who died for me that although I really like being forgiven and heaven as my destination, I’m going to do just as I please, perhaps out of fear, perhaps out of greed, perhaps out of temporary pleasure, perhaps out of desperation or loneliness… you can “fill-in-the-blank” with any wicked motivation on my part… their are unfortunately all too many. I opened my Bible sanctimoniously this morning, thinking I am a disciple who would never deny Him. But honestly, I can… and I do sometimes. Every sin is just that.

Lord,

You knew disciples would scatter and You love them still! And I am no different. Forgive my fleeing, fearful, faithless fits. Draw me close to You. I confess I too can all too easily deny with my actions what my lips proudly proclaim. Keep me humble. Keep me confessional. Keep me loyal day by day, my Lord!

Amen