funerals better than birthdays

A good name is better than precious ointment,

and the day of death than the day of birth.

It is better to go to the house of mourning

than to go to the house of feasting,

for this is the end of all mankind,

and the living will lay it to heart.

Ecclesiastes 7:1-2

The past 15 months had had us contemplating death like never before. It has been so hard to see so much of it, to have a worldwide death toll still a feature of our evening news. I have friends who have lost family to Covid-19. Joni and I experienced the loss of our last biological parent one year ago. And I have had to forego in-person funeral attendance (except for two exceptions) at the strong advice of my doctor because of my own health making me highly susceptible to the highest risks of Covid complications. I watched as many live-streamed funerals as I could, and grieved that I could not take the lessons of grieving in person to heart like I believe Ecclesiastes 7 asks us to do. I grieved as I could, and I grieved that I could not grieve as I wanted to. Now at least with vaccination, I can return to being there in this most important time of loss.

When I die, I hope to leave a “good name” — a memory that lingers to the generation left behind me like a sweet fragrance. In that sense, if mine has been a life well lived in Christ, it will be a happier day than my birthday. My birthday probably thrilled my parents and grandparents. My “death day” might impact a much bigger swath of humanity. It gives me perspective to think of what few years I may have left as lived for this purpose: that the gospel and the sweet fragrance of the life of Jesus Christ in me could be the biggest legacy that I can leave.

For now, one of the opportunities to have as this pandemic starts to fade (at least here in America) is to once again grieve and honor the loss of those we love in the comfort of a funeral service. I know it was hard for Joni and I to sit in tears in a near empty church for a private “family only” service for her mother at the height of health precautions. Cards, flowers, online sentiments, phone calls and texts all helped, but just are not quite the same. One year later from that loss, and it still is most comforting to know that her “good name” is pleasantly blowing though our memories at least, even if others did not get to know that. To all who have lost loved ones in Christ this year, take this to heart! Jesus has given us memories of a “good name” and eternal life for those we have lost.