Correction is love.

Whoever rebukes a man will afterward find more favor

than he who flatters with his tongue.

Proverbs 28:23

It is important that we always remember that we are fallen and have a tendency to regularly need correction. Many life lessons are learned best by some kind of correcting rebuke. If I am not paying attention while driving and head the wrong way on a one way street, and a police officer issues me a ticket, I guarantee it will have an effect of helping me be a better and more alert driver afterwards. The correcting rebuke may even have a consequence, but in the end, I am a better person. And the end makes the experience valuable.

In a similar way, I must empower fellow Christians with the power of speaking loving rebuke into my life. They must be able to pull me aside, and using words filled with the love of Christ and the Word of God, offer careful rebuke of my “wrong way” direction. How sweet such rebuke later turns out to be! I’ve never regretted those who have truly loved me enough to share an admonition. I count them dear friends and true faith companions who are with me diligently and realistically.

Flattery is not love. It is nothing more than a “like button” in the real world that inflates ego at the cost of maturity, both for the flatterer and for the one being flattered. That doesn’t mean we shouldn’t encourage one another. Encouragement is not flattery though. Encouragement is done in the Spirit, points the one being encouraged to Jesus in some way, and ought to be biblically supported as it is shared. Flattery, on the other hand, is done in the flesh, centers on the person, and is used by the flatterer for personal advantage, totally obliterating a biblical worldview in selfishness. Flattery ultimately tears down lives. Correction builds up lives by focusing on God’s sanctifying work in us, and it is truly love.