weary... waiting... working

 

I am weary with my crying out;

my throat is parched.

My eyes grow dim

with waiting for my God.

Psalm 69:3

Sometimes there are seasons of sustained weariness in the life of a believer. I've known them with some regularity. I am familiar with David's description of a soul weary from crying out to God. Like an inconsolable child who cries himself to sleep in a fit, sometimes it is a soul tantrum of sorts that gets me in this season. And then the Holy Spirit of God uses the Word of God to confront my selfish fighting and lead me to repentance of a "want life" that is out of control.

But there are other times more in keeping with David's description in the sixty-ninth psalm. There are times of life defined by pain or loss. There are real times when we may suffer due to our faith's convictions. There are times when we will not understand why people treat us as they do and we cry out to God for relief, hope, and deliverance. And if those times extend into days and weeks of fervent prayer in the pain, our souls can be weary as we wait for God to work. It isn't always easy to trust God. Sometimes it really hurts, but God is still good, holy, just and loving, even as we wait. And often it is the process of waiting that He is using to work a new faith and confidence in us we never would have known without the weary wait.

I compare these spiritual seasons to my one experience with physical therapy a couple years back. The days I worked with a therapist to restore my injured shoulder were long, hard, and painful. An hour's therapy session was felt the rest of the day... often into the next day. Two months of regular physical therapy felt like an eternity. I did not enjoy waiting through the physical exercise and pain. But it led to healing. Because I waited and worked through the difficulty, I now have full use of my left arm. But the waiting and the working in weariness are not experiences I ever want to go through again.

Sometimes God wants me to go through a necessary spiritual workout of weary waiting while He works in me His good purposes. God is in those times and I will be blessed as I bear through them. I believe that even if the prospect of those times is never desired.